Ending a marriage could be one of the most difficult decisions you’ll have to make as an adult. Many people struggle for a long time, sometimes years, before making the choice of whether to leave or stay in the marriage. But, eventually, there may be that final straw that convinces you that divorce is a good choice.
The final straw before divorce could be attributed to a number of reasons such as the two spouses falling out of love, the accumulation of years of dealing with your partner’s indifference, a lack of affection and intimacy or even constant verbal abuse. At times that final straw could be something even more serious such as dealing with your partner’s addiction, violence toward you or your kids, or cheating.
Sometimes that final straw is finally realizing how your kids are being impacted by a toxic relationship. Your kids can feel the tension that chronic marital conflict creates, and it can threaten their sense of safety and comfort in their own home. In addition, you are exposing them to an unhealthy model for relationships and possibly contributing to the development of low self-esteem.
Recognizing the Signs that it’s Time
How do you know when your marriage is falling apart and that you’ve finally reached the point of no return, that final straw? Problems leading up to a divorce include:
- Money issues
- Different parenting styles
- Sexual conflicts and/or incompatibility
- Inequitable distribution of household responsibilities
- Personality conflicts
- Unmet expectations
- Lack of quality time together
- Lack of respect
If you’ve made repeated attempts to deal with your marital issues in order to get your relationship back on track, but are unable to get past the hurt, frustration and anger, it could be time to let go.
Of course, there are some cases in which you have no choice but to make the decision to divorce. If your safety or the safety of your children, whether it’s physical or mental, is in jeopardy, you need to remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
Addressing the Root of the Problem
Every divorce is unique and comes with its own complexities and issues that can vary greatly from one marital situation to another. Taking the first steps towards divorce due to serious issues such as domestic violence or divorcing an alcoholic or having simply decided that the relationship with your spouse is largely negative, can lead to the first step of meeting with a law firm that specializes in family law matters.
At Buncher Family Law, an Irvine family law firm, we’ll identify the issues in your case along with their complexities, discuss all of your options in order to help minimize your stress, time, and legal fees, and then develop a plan of action to proceed with your best interests in mind.
Starting the divorce process can be overwhelming and stressful, no matter what your final straw ends up being, we can help by guiding and supporting you throughout the process. Contact our office to schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys.