Taking a Hard Look

The Early Warning Signs of Divorce

Every marriage is going to have struggles and challenges, but a strong marriage evolves by working through the conflicts that are certain to arise throughout the years. According to some clinical psychologists, the goal for the quality of your relationship is to trend up, not devolve over the course of your marriage.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case with a good percentage of marriages. For many couples, recognizing the early warning signs of divorce is very difficult. This is why so many couples choose to stay in unhealthy marriages and live unnecessarily unhappy lives, rather than admitting that divorce is the better option.

Most marriages don’t end unexpectedly, with the husband or wife caught off guard, wondering what went so incredibly wrong. Instead, many couples admit to recognizing signs that most likely predicted an end to their marriage, but neither spouse could bring themselves to honestly analyze the nature of their relationship.

For some married couples, the signs were present before they even entered into marriage. Financial issues, mismatched expectations, a lack of shared interests, or whether or not to have children may start out as small problems in the beginning, but one or more them then becomes a big problem later in their marriage. And many are the result of a lack of communication and an unwillingness to discuss the tough topics in the beginning. 

These Red Flags Shouldn’t be Ignored

What are some of the early signs of divorce that many people wish they would have acted on, but did not, for one reason or another? Having petty arguments about meaningless things is one of the common signs that something is wrong in the relationship. These arguments are really a form of acting out instead of discussing what issues are at the root of them.

A lack of emotional support from a spouse is another sign that a marriage may be in trouble. Being able to open up to your husband or wife about your fears, hopes, dream, insecurities, and more is just as intimate an experience as physical intimacy. If you can no longer turn to your spouse, you become more likely to fulfill that need outside of your marriage.

Other early warning signs of a marriage heading for dissolution include when you and your spouse start doing things alone because you’re drifting apart. It’s no longer important for the two of you to spend quality time together, and, in fact, everything you do becomes a separate event.

Choosing a Path

If you’re experiencing some of the early warning signs that you should get a divorce, it’s definitely time for you and your spouse to sit down and have a frank discussion about the state of your marriage and whether you two should consider marriage counseling before contemplating a separation and divorce.

If staying on the “marriage path” is no longer an option, then it’s time to look for a family law firm that handles all types of divorce services, including divorce mediation. At the Buncher Law Firm, family lawyers in Orange County, we handle all aspects of family law that can arise as part of a divorce.

Posted in Mediation.