If you and your spouse are getting a divorce, you have likely experienced a gamut of emotions already. Sometimes telling your family and friends can bring up all of these feelings again, but taking a deliberate approach can minimize the upheaval.
Plan what to say in advance and be prepared for some of the common questions they will have. Telling people about getting a divorce is a necessary part of the process. Getting out ahead of the news helps you control the message and allows you to clarify your desire for privacy and time to heal.
After letting your closest friends and family members know, you’ll may want to talk to your most important colleagues at work. There is no need to broadcast the news to all of your coworkers, but letting your critical contacts know is important as you may need some time off to deal with legal issues.
What You Should Say
Starting with family members makes sense because they’re generally the most invested in your life. It’s best to tell children first. Assure them that nothing they have done has caused the divorce and that you and your spouse will both continue to love and support them. Make sure to alert other adults in their life, such as their teachers, doctors, or babysitters, who can help keep an eye out for your child’s emotional well-being.
When telling your parents, you may want to say that you have some sad news, and you understand that they too will need time to process the information. It’s important, however, that you point out that the divorce is about you and you’re going to need their emotional support. Make it clear that you’ve had problems with your marriage that simply couldn’t be resolved, and while you will eventually answer their questions, you need the space to come to terms with all of it yourself first.
Handling Tough Questions
If the situation is not happening to you, but rather you’re helping a friend through their divorce, make sure you do more listening than talking. They are hurt and confused, and your role is to simply be there and provide a soft place to land. You likely aren’t qualified to give advice on legal issues, which is why it is better to leave those details to the experts.
A good divorce attorney can be an excellent resource with regard to answering questions about your divorce. They have experience and expertise regarding everything from how best to split expenses with your ex to providing advice on the least painful way to handle custody arrangements. The divorce attorneys at Buncher Family Law can help you through the process. We will advocate for the best outcome as well as provide legal advice along the way.