3 Tips when divorcing a gaslighter

3 Tips When Divorcing a Gaslighter

Orange County divorce attorneys, Sven Buncher and his associates, have had a myriad of experience dealing with people who suffer from personality disorders and the challenge they present in a divorce. Individuals who have made a habit of lying, very convincingly, in order to manipulate and exert influence over others are using a technique known as gaslighting.

Gaslighters are so adept at controlling the narrative that their spouses may begin to question themselves and their own version of events, sometimes to the point of feeling like they’re losing their grip on reality. People who employ these practices are guilty of emotional abuse with the goal of reducing their partner’s self-esteem and convincing others that they are not stable.

If and when the victimized spouse finds the courage to consider ending the marriage, the gaslighter will make it their mission to manipulate the divorce process to their own benefit. They may claim in divorce court that their partner’s judgement is so impaired, they are incapable of co-parenting or making financial decisions.

Our Top Tips

If you are involved with someone who uses gaslighting or emotional abuse to control and manipulate you, make sure to take these steps before serving your partner with divorce papers.

  1. Keep your plans under wraps: Once your partner gets wind of your intentions, they may come out swinging, looking to provide an alternative set of facts, and paint you as unreliable. Make sure you are already well-prepared for this outcome in order to prevent them from derailing the process.
  2. Find reliable support: Enlist the help of a divorce attorney who has experience dealing with personality disorders. Speak with a mental health professional, friends, and relatives who can support you during the divorce and attest to your mental fitness. Track down any witnesses to the abuse who can back up your version of events.
  3. Document everything: Write down everything you remember about your spouse’s behavior, such as when it started and details about specific incidents that could be useful in court.

Be cautious and deliberate about the way you proceed, line up your allies and make sure to have the evidence you need to present a convincing case. Above all else, protect yourself and your children from any emotional abuse the gaslighter may try to inflict during the divorce.

Making Your Move

Filing for divorce from a gaslighter is difficult, but with a team of people on your side for support and validation, it can absolutely be done. Do not let your spouse intimidate you into feeling as though no one will ever believe you. Remember that this behavior is not uncommon, and there are professionals who are familiar with how to proceed.

Note: Gaslighting is a practice often used by narcissists to further their selfish agendas and absolve them from responsibility for any harm they cause. Click here to read more about divorcing a narcissistic husband.

Posted in Court Preparation, Divorce, Family law tips.