Life is a journey, full of ups and downs, but getting divorced can knock you off your foundation. No matter how long you have been married, the concept of suddenly returning to single status can be jolting. It’s hard not knowing what to expect in the days to come and it’s natural to feel lonely after divorce. While you have every right to how you feel, you can also take comfort in knowing that it gets easier over time.
How long the recovery process takes is different for everyone. Some people bounce back more easily and return to a sunnier outlook in a matter of months. Others are still experiencing pangs of loneliness, abandonment, and anger years after the final paperwork is signed. If you fall into the latter category, don’t resign yourself to sadness. It’s never too late to take control of those negative emotions and find joy again.
Facing the Reality
Doing so requires a deliberate approach to dealing with the post-divorce loneliness that can strike at any time. First and foremost, dedicate yourself to securing a support system. Family, friends, group therapy, pets can all qualify as part of your network. A big part of being lonely is spending too much time by yourself and in your own head. When you feel yourself going down the emotional rabbit hole, reach out to one of the people in your circle of trust.
Try writing a gratitude list of all that you are thankful for in your life and refer to it whenever you need a boost. Some people find it helpful to post little reminders of these things around their home. Stick a post-it note on your bathroom mirror that says, “I have the world’s best sister!” or “I’m healthy — not everyone is so lucky.”
Speaking of good health, don’t forget to exercise. Working out provides energy throughout the day, lifts your mood, revs your metabolism and promotes good cardiovascular health, just to name a few positive effects. Laughter also can provide a host of benefits. Whatever tickles your fancy, whether it is a dog easily leaping over a 6-foot fence his owner proudly just finished installing or a rerun of your favorite SNL skit, YouTube is a gold mine when you need a giggle.
You Will Get Past It
If you have been putting off divorce due to fear, rest assured that with time and mindfulness, you can move on and be happy again. Despite the emotional upheaval, there are circumstances when it’s better to get divorced than stay married. In any circumstances delaying the process of marital dissolution also delays your own journey towards healing and a happier life. By talking to an attorney and familiarizing yourself with the process you will reduce the fear of the unknown.
The attorneys at Buncher Family Law understand the emotional side of divorce, and we work with you to assure the legal process is as painless as possible. We are here to support our clients through what can be a dark time in their lives and help them see the light at the end of the tunnel.