Small Arguments That Can Signal Big Problems

How Small, Stupid Arguments can Signal Big Problems in Your Relationship

No matter how happy and perfect couples may seem in public and on social media, every one of them gets into spats sometimes. Although arguments between couples are perfectly normal, people tend to show only the positive side of their relationships to outsiders. If you and your spouse find yourself arguing over stupid things, it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is in trouble. It may be as simple as getting on one another’s nerves because you’ve been spending too much time together.

Snipping at each other can also be caused by stress carried over from other parts of your life. Work pressure, money problems, physical and mental health issues all have the potential to increase your stress level, which can cause you to jump more quickly into anger over small things. These stressors will get to most of us during our lives, and often they lead to common arguments between couples.

Pressing Each Other’s Buttons

Financial problems are perhaps the most universal cause of tension in a relationship. If money is very tight or if one spouse is a saver and the other a spender, the couple is likely in for a lifetime of conflict over money. Misunderstandings also have the potential to lead to arguments, particularly if one spouse is stubborn and refuses to admit when they’re wrong.

Then there’s the old joke about the couple who breaks up over one of them leaving the cap off the toothpaste. Although it doesn’t always lead to people splitting up, the way each person uses household items can actually be a sore spot. If one of them leaves a glob of toothpaste in the sink every day, you can bet the other is going to become increasingly annoyed over time.

The bottom line is that some amount of bickering is normal, and all relationships go through smooth and rough patches. Where there is cause for concern is if the small arguments are representative of big problems. For example, say a man is upset with his partner because he’s mad about a dream they had involving another man. While it seems silly to be angry about dreams because we have no control over their content, this could be a sign of a more fundamental problem with control issues and jealousy.

The Ongoing Argument

Another indication of a bigger problem is if you and your spouse are nonstop arguing or one or both of you are always looking for confrontation. Feeling angry all the time, annoyed by every little thing your spouse does, is a warning sign that your relationship could be in trouble. On the flip side, it’s equally unhealthy for you and your spouse to constantly dance around the elephant in the room, avoiding larger arguments by not communicating at all. In both cases, finding a way to talk things out with one another, whether through the use of therapy or on your own, is crucial.

If you are not happy in your marriage because of the above scenarios, it’s normal to be considering divorce. It may be time to set up a consultation with a family law attorney to discuss your options.

Posted in California Divorce.