No one enters into marriage with the idea that, down the road, they’re going to end up getting divorced. Unfortunately, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. But, what’s even more unsettling is the fact that many couples remain in unfulfilling or unhappy marriages, living in sadness, and making excuses for staying unhappily married.
Remaining in an unhappy marriage in order to avoid conflict and the arguments that surround the topic of divorce are common excuses for staying stuck in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling. These couples live with the disappointments and regrets coming from the fact that they really want to get divorced.
Why is it so difficult to make the decision to leave your spouse, even if your marriage is unhappy and a disappointment? Leaving your marriage may be the most difficult challenge you’ll face during your lifetime, so it’s much easier to rationalize staying with your spouse until something happens that makes it crystal clear that keeping your marriage together is not only hurting you and your spouse, but your family as well.
So, what are some of the worst reasons to stay married to your spouse when your inner voice is telling you to leave?
Some of the worst reasons to stay married vs having the conversation with your spouse about divorce include :
- Staying together for the sake of your children
- Staying married for financial security or because it’s the less expensive option
- Staying married to honor your wedding vows
- Staying together out of guilt
- Staying married because you’re afraid of disappointing your family and friends
- Staying in your marriage to keep up appearances
- Staying together to maintain shared friendships and relationships with your in-laws
Fear is the biggest obstacle to getting divorced. It could be the fear of being alone and having to start your life over again, or fear of the anxiety and pain that come with separating and divorcing your spouse.
However, whatever your reasons are for avoiding divorce, remaining in a marriage devoid of happiness and mutual fulfillment can end up, in the long run, doing more harm to you and your spouse then facing the challenges of the divorce process.
The choice to remain married or to leave is a very personal one. It’s important to seriously consider your reasons to stay married because unhealthy relationships can take a real toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health as well as those of your spouse and family.
Marriage is hard work, and while you may still love your spouse, if you’re constantly arguing or if there is a significant amount of tension between you, it may be time to reconsider the reasons you have for staying together.
At Buncher Family Law, an Orange County Family Law Firm, we’ll provide guidance and support as you face the transition to new beginnings. Our divorce lawyers will break down the main issues of the process, work to dispel any myths about divorce that you may have, and provide a plan to get you started.